Ode to Odie

Odie

What can I say? If you have never had a dog who loved you unconditionally, you won’t know what I am talking about here. There is something special about the unquestioning love and devotion a dog gives to his person. It’s a permanent thing, which is what makes it so amazing. It’s there when you are showering attention on him. It’s there even when you have just been a jerk and yelled at the poor creature because you were really mad at your spouse. It’s there when all he wants is for you to throw his ball, but you just “aren’t in the mood.” He never holds a grudge either.

Humans, in contrast, remember every slight, every disappointment, every cross word. It may be six months later when in the heat of a totally unrelated argument, your spouse throws in something from the past for good measure. “What,” you say, “You want to bring that up again?” “You bet I do,” they reply through clenched teeth. Your dog would never dream of being so petty.

Have you ever known a human who hung on your every word? Who could look at you adoringly for hours while laying with his head in your lap? When was the last time your human companion waited to take their cue from you as to how the day would go? If you have experienced this with someone we have a name for it- it’s called love addiction: an obsessive emotional attachment to another to avoid separation anxiety and loneliness. Does Fatal Attraction ring a bell?

Your dog has no neurotic need for you to give them their identity, they are very content with just being a mutt. They don’t require constant reassurance that you love only them or that they need you to complete them. All they want is to be able to love you and take whatever you choose to give back to them in return. A biscuit will do nicely. I scratch behind the ears. A ride in the backseat of the car while you run around town cursing other drivers and complaining about the rain. They take it all in stride, hanging their head out the window trying to catch the wind as it swooshes by.

As I get older and find I can’t do as much as I once did, I find myself indulging in self- pity from time to time. A bad knee makes it painful to climb stairs, my stamina is not what it once was, my eyesight is no longer 20/20… Odie too was winding down. His sight was going and he was deaf. He had trouble controlling his balder and had to wear doggie diapers. But he never whined. He never sat around feeling sorry for himself. It took only a look from us at the door for him to know he could come along and his day was made.

We could learn a lot from our four-footed friends. All of us die. The journey can be short or long. It’s how we live it that counts. Odie was determined to taste every one of time’s moments. Swallow. Taste the next. He died at 20 (140 in dog years). He didn’t just stagger on in the end – he was still tasting life. Every morsel he could get of it before he went blissfully to sleep. I will think of him next time I am temped not to savor a day or an hour or a moment.

Obedience

"One act of obedience is better than one hundred sermons."

                           Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Why is obedience so hard?  The dictionary says it is compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another's authority. I guess we just don’t want to do what someone else tells us, even if it is God telling us and especially if the request is contrary to our own selfish desires. My experience has been that when God is asking me to do something small it is often not about the request itself but about my willingness to obey. 

A recent example involved my netbook. It suddenly wouldn’t let me into my email so I took it to a repair place nearby. The computer guy reloaded a new Windows 7 and said that would take care of the problem.  After I got it home it worked fine for one day and then did the same thing.  So I took it back and asked for a refund on the repair bill.  Then suddenly it worked again- and kept on working for several weeks.

That’s when I felt the Lord urging me to return the refund.  After debating about it with myself and God for a couple of days I finally complied and returned the refund.  I did the “right” thing.  The guy was truly amazed and delighted and said something to the effect that I’d “made his day.”  Maybe God was at work somehow in him and using me?  Or, more likely, He was teaching me something about myself.  Ironically, as soon as I did this in obedience to the Lord, the computer acted up again and it never worked right again.  Needless to say I struggled for a while to understand this, did God have a weird sense of humor?  Finally I simply came to the conclusion I just needed to chalk it up to an exercise in obedience.  

I think sometimes God wants me to obey so He can let me see an area of my life that has gotten out of control.  I remember around the time we were closing on our new condo, I was busy choosing our paint colors, carpeting, kitchen cabinets, counter tops, kitchen appliances, etc.  It was great fun and I felt like a kid in a candy store.  We had owned our own home before back in Massachusetts, but it was not a new home and I did not get to choose what went into it.  This was a new experience for me and I was very excited.  Everything was pretty much done when I decided that Plantation shutters would be perfect in the office. 

It was then that I heard God clearly say, “No.” 

I was surprised and not a little dismayed.  I have never had to wonder what He means when He speaks to me - l knew immediately that He was referring to the shutters.  I also did not have to wonder about why He would say this.  In my heart I knew I was going overboard.  I couldn’t seem to be content with what we had. I kept wanting more and better.  Wow, I thought to myself, that kind of insatiable greed can just sneak up on you and consume you. Even though I knew this I still wanted to bargain with God!  Will I never learn?  God does not bargain.  So I surrendered the shutters and in a short period of time I forgot all about them, it had never really been about them at all.       

Maybe these little things, these seemingly unimportant requests for obedience, are training for the harder, more important ones?  Whatever they are, I am always just amazed that the Lord draws near and speaks to me at all- the least I can do is obey, even if I sometimes don’t understand what He is up to. 

I used to not be so quick to obey or maybe it was just my doubting it was really God talking to me (or hoping it wasn’t Him).  Now I’m more inclined to just do whatever it is He is asking of me because I’ve learned I get no peace until I do. 

One time, shortly after we moved here to Columbus, I was on my way to work at Columbus State Community College where I taught, when I got into an accident.  I drove into an intersection when my light was red and was hit by a car crossing the intersection with a green light from the other direction.  The impact spun my car around and really shook me up.  Luckily no one was injured and we both only sustained minor damage to our cars. 

Initially, when the police arrived on the scene to take a report, I was still in shock and not sure about what had happened, I did suspect though that it had been my fault and that I had had one of those episodes when your brain goes on auto pilot and you keep functioning while your conscious mind is off somewhere else.  I think it’s been called “Highway Hypnosis” because it is a common phenomenon of drivers.  You are driving along for a few miles on the interstate and then suddenly, like coming out of a trance, you realize you have passed several exits but have no recall of the distance travelled. 

When the officer arrived on the scene to take a report I didn’t say anything about what I suspected.  He eventually wrote it up as a “no-fault” accident and I forgot all about it.  My insurance paid for the damage to my car, but I was bothered by the fact that the other driver, a very nice young man named Keith, who was expecting his first child, (we got to talking while waiting for the policeman to finish his report) had said he could not afford to put in a claim to his insurance company because he did not want his rates to go up.  I remembered feeling bad about that. 

Well, time went by- enough time in fact that the accident finally came off my driving record.  Then, about a year ago, completely out of the blue, God spoke to me in much the same way and said, “I want you to make amends to that young man.”  Again, I did not have to ask Him who He meant- I knew instantly who He meant (that can really freak you out). 

I had buried the incident so deep in my subconscious mind that I had literally forgotten it ever happened.  But God hadn’t forgotten.  He won’t let us sweep things under the carpet.  He calls us to clean up our messes so we can live at peace with others, ourselves and Him.

Even though I knew this, I started to argue: 

“But God,” I said, “I don’t even remember his name or how to get in touch with him and even if I could what would I say?” 

God was silent. 

I pleaded, “It would be humiliating to say it was my fault now, after all this time.  I just can’t face him!”

God was silent. 

I had been down this road before so I knew I was not going to win this way.  I thought this time I was being clever.  I told God, and myself, that I would try to find him (I was being obedient).  Then I promptly forgot about it and got busy with life. 

After a few months God again spoke the same words.  Again, I agreed and then procrastinated.  This went on for about six months! 

I finally realized that I valued peace with God more than my desire to avoid an uncomfortable amends to this young man.   So I took steps to actually find him and it was surprisingly easy.  I simply got a copy of the accident report from the police headquarters downtown (which had his name and address at that time) and then did a people search on the internet. 

Because I finally was obedient, God blessed me in surprising ways every step of the way through my amends process. 

First I needed to get an estimate of the cost of the damage to his car so I could reimburse Keith.  I took a copy of the police report with the description of the damage to both cars to several auto collision repair shops.  At first everyone said they could not give me an estimate without seeing the actual car.  Finally in desperation I screwed up my courage at the last garage on my list and told the guy I was trying to make my amends and work my 8^th Step and I needed to get a ball park cost on damages.  The magic words “working my Step” known by all involved in AA worked.  His whole demeanor changed and he gave me an estimate. I thought that was pretty cool.  Was God smiling?

Then I needed to contact the young man himself and arrange a meeting.  I did not have the courage to call him, so I wrote him a letter explaining that I wanted to make amends to him for not taking responsibility for the accident we had more than five years ago.  I waited in fear and trembling and then finally, after several weeks, I received a reply.  He not only remembered me but was willing to meet with me.   My husband drove me to his house and waited outside in the car.  With much trepidation I went in alone. 

Keith extended a grace to me that I did not deserve.  Our meeting was a blessing I will never forget, and although it came through the forgiveness of this young man, I knew God was using him to bless me for my obedience.  Since Keith was expecting his 2^nd child and had just lost his job, I’m sure God used my check to bless Keith too.  He has a way of working like that, doesn’t He?

And I learned something else too. It is not enough to just obey, I needed to also learn to do so with a joyful heart because the Lord asked it of me. “Do everything without grumbling or arguing” (Phil 2:14). Well, that part I’m still working on, but I do think Bonhoeffer was on to something.

In Search of the Soul

(Topic from The Scribbler's Writer's Group)

I would not have to look further than pop culture for at least one view of the soul. Dating services promise that if you use their services you will find your “soul mate.” The premise here is that we will unconsciously be attracted to the one person who was made just for us, someone who shares our view of life, our desires and goals. Some even say it is a spiritual connection between two souls.

Popular songs often express the sentiment of loving someone completely. Back in the 30’s two of the biggest jazz hits of the day referred to the soul - Billie Holiday’s recording of “Body and Soul” (1930) and Hoagy Carmichael’s “Heart and Soul” (1938).

I mention these examples not to trivialize the idea of the soul, but to show how it has permeated the popular culture and is not just confined to a religious concept. There does seem to be a striking similarity between the two though- only the object of one’s love and devotion is different, i.e. Jesus too taught that a person must love God with their entire being.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind” (Luke 10: 25).

Soul is also used to designate a musical genre popular in the 60’s- the Motown sound. It applied to singers who sang with such feeling that they were thought to be singing from their ‘soul.’ The sound had its roots in Southern gospel music.

There is another modern day use of the term soul when used in conjunction with psychology. With my background as a psychiatric nurse I am familiar with the concept “soul sickness,” or demoralization which is characterized by feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. Patients with soul sickness are often described as having “checked out” of life. The answer or treatment in our secular culture is therapy, and perhaps medication for depression. Christians include a spiritual approach: “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God (Psalm 42).

This concept of soul sickness is also seen in other cultures. The DSM V, the diagnostic manual for psychiatric disorders, includes several examples in culture-bound syndromes.

Among Native Americans, the Anishinabe people (also known as Ojibwa or Chippewa) describe a type of soul sickness called wétigo. Those afflicted with it are called windigos—a term which can be translated as “cannibal” or “soul eater.” Windigos were destructive not only to themselves, but to those around them: they consumed the souls of other people with their greed.

This seems to me to describe pretty well what might happen to a soul not transformed by the Spirit in today’s culture of greed. I can easily picture a corporate hedge fund guy being consumed by a condition like this. Remember Michael Douglas’ famous line in Wall Street- “Greed is good”?

Another example is Susto - A folk illness prevalent among some Latinos in the United States and among people in Mexico, Central America, and South America. Susto is an illness attributed to a frightening event that causes the soul to leave the body and results in unhappiness and sickness. It is believed that in extreme cases, susto may even result in death. Ritual healings are focused on calling the soul back to the body and cleansing the person to restore bodily and spiritual balance.

This one sound eerily familiar when we look at what the Bible says about David in his time of trouble. He cried, “Save me, O God, for waters are come in unto my soul. I sink in deep mire. I am come into deep waters, floods overflowing. I am weary of my crying” (Psalm 69:1-3). The root cause of “soul sickness” with David is that his troubles went on and on and even got worse. His soul cried out to God for help, but there seemed to be no answer.

How does the Bible define the soul?

The terms heart, soul and mind are often used interchangeably. In general ‘heart’ refers to the inner man and when used metaphorically can refer to the mind, the emotions or the will, or simply to the person as a whole. “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Prov. 4:23). Soul is also used to incorporate our mind, our will and our emotions. So it would seem that heart and soul (back to that jazz song) often refer to the same thing- the inner man. Can be confusing, right?

The mind and emotions are thought to both continually operate upon the will to affect it. We spend most of our life operating from this conscious level. For example, I may have an angry thought which is accompanied by feelings of bitterness and resentment. If unchecked, I may decide to act on my thoughts and feelings and lash out at the object of my displeasure (a willful choice). If this is a pattern with me, I may be known as an angry person.

The soul is the essence of who we are as a person, what is known about us by others and to a greater or lesser degree, what we know about ourselves. It is the part of us in most need of renovation.

We also see the soul in conjunction with the spirit. The soul and the spirit are connected, but separable. Human beings have a spirit, but we are not spirits. The spirit is a deeper, hidden part in man. Conscience is a function of the spirit. It is this spirit that lives on after death. Dallas Willard says:

“The life we live out in our moments, hours, days, and years wells up from a hidden depth...the hidden dimension of each human life is not visible to others, nor is it fully graspable even by ourselves. We usually know very little about the things that move in our own soul.”

Here Christians and non-Christian’s diverge. Secular psychology rejects belief in a spirit component to man, but embraces the concept of the unconscious mind operating at a level below our conscious awareness. This can be an area of darkness, despair and confusion apart from God.

Our spirit is instantly reborn and made new the moment we accept Christ, but the soul is not born again.

Our souls can carry a lot of baggage from our past lifestyle that we need to get rid of. For example, we may have addictions, habits, and hurts from childhood that still torment us and prevent us from being free.

Our souls are transformed by the renewing of our minds:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" (Romans 12:2).

It is through His Spirit living in us, communicating with our spirit, that our hearts and minds and are brought in sync with His. Our soul also has the power to reject the pleadings of the Spirit if it chooses.

The spirit is the element in humanity which gives us the ability to have an intimate relationship with God and hear His still small voice. The human spirit then in correct relationship to God will bring the soul into subjection to God and the mind and will into subjection to the soul.

A soul in tune with the Spirit will say with the psalmist, “Praise the Lord O my soul” (Psalm 103).